Posts filed under 'Funeral Thank You Notes'
Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.
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William Shakespeare (1564-1616)When someone you know loses a loved one, the simple, thoughtful gesture of writing a sympathy card or condolence letter can bring an untold measure of comfort to the bereaved. In the quest to find the perfect words of condolence for a sympathy message, however, many people become overwhelmed and may avoid writing altogether.
If this should happen to you, begin by accepting the fact that no matter how carefully you choose your words, your condolences will not make everything better – nothing can do that. But a thoughtful, sincere sympathy message, written from the heart, can be a soothing balm, allowing the bereaved to feel your love and support and know that she is not alone in her sorrow.
When is the best time to send a sympathy card? |
The best time to send a sympathy card is as soon as you learn of the death. Expressing your condolences will be easier and more natural when you spontaneously share your feelings. You may choose to send your sympathy message in the form of a store-bought sympathy card, a condolence letter handwritten on personal stationery, or one of our sympathy ecards, but whichever method you choose, be sure to include a personal message.
Avoid platitudes and judgmental statements
As you write, avoid the use of platitudes – they’re seldom helpful, and they may cause even more pain to the bereaved, who is raw with emotion. Presumptive statements that may be perceived as judgmental, like “it’s for the best” or “it was God’s will,” or any form of “you should” or “you will,” no matter how well intended, may provoke anger or resentment.
Make sure your sympathy message is genuine and sincere
Also, resist the temptation to say “I know how you feel.” Even if you’ve shared a similar experience – such as the sudden and tragic death of a loved one in an accident, for example – it’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently.
The only feelings you can be sure of are your own. A sympathy message that states something like, “I was shocked and deeply saddened to learn of Jim’s untimely death” is more sincere, and your willingness to share your own feelings will help the bereaved to cope with hers.
Why not include a treasured memory?
If you personally knew the deceased, consider writing about a treasured memory to let your grieving friend know how his loved one touched your life. Name the qualities you will always remember when you think of the deceased, such as a sparkling wit, unwavering courage, or profound kindness. Above all, be genuine. If you didn’t know the deceased well, focus on your bereaved friend, and let him know that you are there for him.
Keep your sympathy message simple
It’s a good idea to keep your sympathy message simple. Offer to help if you can, but be specific. An invitation to “Call me if you need anything” is likely to be ignored. “I’d be glad to baby sit or run errands to give you a break. I’ll call next week to see how I can help,” on the other hand, is far more useful – and your friend is more likely to accept your offer of assistance.
The act of writing a sympathy card or letter of condolence builds a bridge of communication, opening the door for your friend to share her grief. When she’s ready, it may be easier for her to speak to you about her sorrow because you generously shared the gift of yourself in your sympathy message.
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Created by Lucie Storrs, The Light Beyond bereavement site, forum, inspirational movie and blog aims to help as many people as possible on their journey through grief.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucie_Storrs
At such a difficult time in your life writing sympathy thank you notes can seem overwhelming. Who gets a note? What do you write? How long do you have to write letters of sympathy?
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Firstly, it is no longer considered a “must” to send thank you notes after a funeral. Modern etiquette allows for much leeway during the grieving process, and it is a major breach in etiquette for someone to expect or be offended by a lack of a thank you card or note from the grief-stricken.However, you may find that the task itself can be quite comforting. Any member of the family can send notes on the entire family’s behalf or you can invite a friend or family member to come over to help you. Your funeral director can provide you with thank you cards or you can write notes on your personal stationery.The process of writing the notes of thanks can help you remember the kindness of friends and provide you with an opportunity to remember your loved one. |
If you opt to send a sympathy thank you, according to more traditional standards, the letters of sympathy are ideally sent within two weeks of services to the following people (however, even Emily post says there is no time limit):
• Pallbearers
• Clergy
• Friends and loved ones who provided services such as babysitting, food, or driving in the funeral procession
• Anyone who sent flowers, donations, long hand-written letters of condolence, photos or gifts
A thank you note is not necessary (but can be sent) for short cards of condolence or for attendance of services .
Sample Letters of Sympathy
It is okay to keep your note brief. One or two sentences are fine. Here are a few general samples:
Sympathy Thank You Sample #1
Dear Joanne,
Thank you for sending such beautiful flowers. (or insert other instance such as help baby-sitting, lovely photo or video of cherished loved one, driving in the funeral procession, etc.) Your generosity and support during this difficult time is greatly appreciated. Thanks again.
Sincerely,
Christine Murphy & Family
Sample Letter #2
Thank you for the lovely flowers and attending the services. Although this is a sad time for all of us, I find comfort in knowing how fortunate, Robert and I have been to know you.
Remember to be very kind to yourself and take as much time as you need.
Author Christy Murphy
For more ready-to-copy sympathy thank you samples for pallbearers, close friends, and donations and other letters of sympathy visit: My Thank You Site Sympathy Page. Christy Murphy is the creator of http://www.my-thank-you-site.com/ which provides free, ready-to-copy sample thank you notes for all occasions, including funerals, baby showers, along with other practical tools to demonstrate and attract gratitude in every day life. She is a writer, public speaker, and comedian, who has been featured on numerous television shows including CNN’s Showbiz Today, Australia’s Seven News, and CBS News in the U.S. Thank you for reading her bio.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christy_Murphy and http://ezinearticles.com
Writing thank you notes can be difficult for many people, since it is something that is not usually done everyday. Most thank you notes are written to acknowledge a gift given for a happy occasions like weddings, baby showers, birthday parties and such, however when it comes to showing gratitude for sympathy sentiments, the right words may be hard to find.
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You may think, “This is such a difficult time, is it really necessary? Although it may be a hard thing to do, it is proper - and possibly therapeutic for some. If you are not sure who to send cards to, or what you should say, consider the following as a guide to writing thank you notes for funerals.It is not necessary to send a thank you to each individual that attended the funeral services and it is usually not expected. You should acknowledge those who expressed their sympathies above and beyond visitation, such as sending flowers, making a donation to charity in the deceased’s name, delivering food to the home, sending Mass cards, or handwritten condolences.
In addition to thanking people that expressed their sympathy, thank you notes should be sent to those who took part in the service or funeral, such as anyone who spoke at the service, clergy, pallbearers, and drivers. |
Also sending a note to the funeral home, especially if they were extra helpful to you, is always appreciated. Due to their experience, they often provide guidance and support in areas that family is unable to do.
Thank you notes should be handwritten and mailed within a few weeks of the funeral. If you are not up to sending thank you notes that soon, consider enlisting the help of another family member or friend will help to lessen the burden.
Blank note cards or good quality stationery with matching envelopes are acceptable for writing the notes. Some funeral homes offer note cards as one of their services. If you are using pre-printed cards, you should write an additional sentence or two, for personalization.
If you are not sure what to say, start by acknowledging the particular sentiment, whether it was a flower arrangement, particular type of flower or bouquet. If it was food, even if you didn’t personally eat it, thank them just for giving it. For money, which can be a little unusual and awkward, express your gratitude for their generosity during this difficult time.
Something as simple as, “Thank you for your expression of sympathy at this difficult time,” will suffice for some notes.
Other ideas include thanking them for coming and letting them know how much their presence meant to you and your family; or if they are especially close, mention how much it meant to you that they were there for you and your family and how they have always shared in good and bad times. A nice touch would be to recall a memory of how that person touched the deceased’s life.
Your thank you note does not need to be a long-winded or a masterpiece, as long as it is handwritten - it will show that you took the time to appreciate their effort to ease your pain. Keep it simple and from the heart.
Visit Sympathy Sentiments site and Blog for more help and resources on the subject of death and loss.
(this article is free to use, as long as nothing is changed and the links remain intact. Thank you)
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_T and http://ezinearticles.com
Finding out how to write thank you notes for a death is not a pleasant experience, but it is an experience that most of us go through at one time or another in our lives, so being prepared is the best thing to help ease the shock and the trauma of your loss.
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It is a standard rule of etiquette that most people in our country write thank you notes to those friends and family who are gracious enough to help us through our loss of a loved one by attending funerals and receptions in honor of the deceased or signing guestbooks for the family, sometimes available online now.On the Internet, there are some terrific ideas for creating special thank you notes for a death. One of the ideas that is mentioned in an article I found titled How to Choose a Memorial Poem or Verse for a Funeral or Life Celebration, is that many people are now using the same lines from poems or verses on their thank you notes to people as they use on bookmarks and prayer cards at the memorial service. It is a nice gesture and describes the person as best as possible with the “essense of that person” most closely captured. |
For more information on how to write thank you notes for a death, look around online. There’s plenty of great information available.
An article from http://www.articledashboard.com